Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
