no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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