JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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