After last night, I could never be a politician.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
