I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
