it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
