Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
