If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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