porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
