She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
