I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Duck Duck Cougar?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
