I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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