making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
