I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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