420 ftw
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
