Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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