i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
