So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
