Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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