btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
