Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We need to rekindle our bromance
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
50% drunk capacity currently
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
