this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
