Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
