and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
