you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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