if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
