He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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