my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
