What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
