In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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