Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
