I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
