i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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