so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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