Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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