oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
