just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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