Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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