Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Porn is love you can see.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
