for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
