I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
