Define "chronic" masturbator.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
