Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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