so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
