Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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