I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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