Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
