Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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