you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Come see our sink grown plant.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
