.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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