The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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