well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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